My favorite essay
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '08...wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
((Looking at pictures of myself at 16 makes me realize how much I worried about my weight in a time when I should have enjoyed my youth. We were immortal and undying. I think this is one of the most important lessons I wish my nephews could learn, but like all generations..it will be one only learned in hindsight.)) You are NOT as fat as you imagine.
((Working on it :) )) Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
((Getting arrested and calling my dad at 5 AM to come get me out of jail. Hearing about the death of my grandfather or Kendra...sudden deaths with no chance to prepare. My divorce. Everything else has been sorta ephemeral)) Do one thing every day that scares you.
((I need to work on this one))
Sing.
((I do this all the time...silly little tunes, folk type songs or mournful melodies. I would rather be blind than deaf. Music moves me in ways I can't describe.))
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
((Mixed bag on this one...I have been reckless but try not to be. I am usually the one with the broken heart at the end of it all))
Floss.
((I try to remember..but it just doesn't happen that often))
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
((Working on it...see the broken heart comment)) Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
((No shit! I still remember slights from high school..ugh)) Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
((This I do..and it breaks my heart to see some of the older ones)) Stretch. ((Heck yeah..I am old now. I got a pulled calf muscle just playing frisbee))
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
((38 and still working on my history degree...didn't realize I wanted to be a teacher until I was 32)) Get plenty of calcium.
((2 gallons of milk a week! /flex )) Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
((Working on my weight)) Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
((This is an amazingly hard lesson. I feel lonely and sad and depressed. I miss my wife. I miss..others...a part of growing up I think, but I am trying.)) Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
((This...this I do!)) Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
((This I don't!)) Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
((Seconded!)) Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
((Something I need to do more and more. I love you mom and dad...in spite of or because of everything.)) Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
((My sister and her husband and sons are my family...they are the ones who will help me in everything.)) Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
((<sigh> Something that changes as we grow old...I hope I can)) Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
((I missed this chance..but I think I missed the boat on both. I am jaded and bored, but too many things cause me to choke up and cry)) Travel.
((I will get my passport this year!))
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
((My folks have been amazingly kind to me throughout my life..without their help, I would be in a much worse place.)) Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.
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arioch1970's journal
